Sorry this is late, I've been busy getting ready for my trip to see Curt graduate BCT.
There are a lot of things I could probably pick for this, but at this point in my life I need to forgive myself for past mistakes both large and small. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I fully believe that each of those mistakes have lead me to this place in my life, that doesn't mean I wouldn't have wished things had been different, or easier.
I can say the primary mistake that resonates in my life is bad relationships, friendships to be more specific. If you are reading this now you can be assured you are not one of those people. I have taken steps recently to assure that the toxic people are no longer in my life nor my family's.
I have the difficult task now of learning to forgive myself for bringing those toxic people into our lives, and forgiving myself for allowing them to do what they did to myself and my family. I know that in the end it all worked out for the best, and we are better off now for what we have learned, and where our lives are headed, yet those pesky "what ifs" are always in the back of my mind.
I have to take great care not to beat myself up when things come up now that are reminiscent of the most recent toxic people I allowed into our lives. Even though they are no longer part of our life at this time, because they were such an intertwined part of our lives, as these toxic relationships often become, I am still dealing with issues months after the fact.
So although I am learning to forgive myself for the many mistakes I have made and the many toxic relationships that have lead me to this point in my life, this is not a case of forgive and forget. This is a case of live and learn. I am learning more and more with each passing day. I can only hope that my past mistakes lead to better decisions in the future, that is my goal. To forgive myself for my mistakes, ONLY if I have learned enough to grow from them and make better decisions going forward.
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