Old Habits Die Hard

I've found myself falling into a patterns lately, and not the good ones.  Ya know the old saying "Don't count your chickens before they hatch" ?  I have a bad habit of doing that when things get hectic or when I'm overwhelmed.  Most people do this when they are excited about the possibility of something coming their way or something new.  I'm the opposite, expecting the worst before I even know the whole story.

Today was a prime example and my worst offense in quite a while.  I've worked in the insurance industry so I am rather familiar with how things work.  After my accident I made sure all my ducks were in a row and all my phone calls were made.  I filled out all the required paperwork and made sure the right claims were filed with the right people.  I did all the leg work because I was having trouble getting companies to communicate with each other and it was just easier if I did it all.  The only thing I could not control was how long the refund check would take to process for my warranty and that has been the only hold up on the payout from my GAP insurance to close out the claim.  If you are not familiar, GAP insurance covers the excess amount you owe on a vehicle if it is considered a total loss so you are only responsible for the deductible, instead of the balance of the loan.  

I got a letter in the mail today saying a payment had been made by my GAP insurance for less than the balance due and that I was responsible for a large sum of money.  My immediate reaction was fear and then I freaked out, as I only anticipated paying my deductible.  

I placed a call to the GAP company but got a voicemail and left a message.  Not satisfied I called the finance company who sent the letter to see if they had any insight, to no eval.  I then called my mom, and by this point I was crying so hard I could barley get the words out to explain to her what had conspired.  While I was attempting to explain between sobs a call came through on my other line.  It was my GAP company.  The same woman I have been dealing with the whole way through, and who by the way, is amazing!  

She explained that they had not made any payments and was most likely the refund we have been waiting on.  I called the finance company back and asked who made the payment and received confirmation that it was indeed the refund we have been waiting on to close the GAP claim.  I asked the finance company to fax the required documents to the GAP company so we can proceed.

Needless to say this could have all been avoided with a few deep breaths and a lot lees crying, but as I said, old habits die hard.  I'm not excusing how I act or react, I'm simply stating a fact.  I try hard, I do well for a while, and then for whatever reason I tend to revert back to what comes naturally.  I guess it makes sense when you think about it.  It takes so much focus and effort for me to try not to freak out that it's just easier to freak out and get over it than to try not to I guess.  

Maybe someday I'll be free from freak outs and have no need for crying spells, but for now it's one day at a time and doing my damnedest to lay these bad habits to rest.