If you follow me, you know that when Curt came home for Christmas we found out he had pneumonia and he was pretty sick, a very uncommon occurrence for my husband. I on the other hand am no stranger to being sick, so when I started with a sore throat a week and a half ago I brushed it off as just a cold. Then it turned into a cough which continued to get worse and a sore, achy body. I drank a lot of hot tea and sucked on a lot of cough drops and kept going about my routine. Drop Gunnar off, go to work, pick Gunnar up, Cub Scouts on Wednesday nights, homework in between and clean the house and laundry on the weekend. By the time I got to work on Friday I must have been in pretty bad shape because my supervisor didn't even let me log in, she just told me to call the doctor and get seen ASAP.
So I ended up at urgent care with a PA (physicians assistant) telling me how bad my tonsils looked. FYI: I haven't had tonsils since I was 6! So either my throat looked really bad OR this guy needed to retake his anatomy class! They swab me for strep, which I don't have, but after no further testing he says I do have pneumonia. I assume this is based on me telling him what Curt had over Christmas. So I was sent home with an antibiotic and a cough suppressant. It's now Sunday and I don't feel any better. Luckily I see my doctor tomorrow and hopefully she will get to the bottom of this.
I realized though that I had pneumonia in 2009 and I was out of work for an entire month. I also don't recall feeling as bad as I do now. I attribute the difference a couple things. In 2009 I was a complete and total wimp. I'm by no means past the wimp stage, but it is no longer complete and total. I also had Curt to take care of anything I couldn't, or better said wouldn't. I didn't see that until now. I took that and him completely for granted. I didn't realize how easy it was to just curl up and let Curt take over if I didn't feel well, how easily I could shut the bedroom door and tune out the world.
Not anymore. There is no room for door shutting or tuning out when there are things that need to be done and it's only you there to do them. It's amazing what you can do when you find that you have no other option. Sure it would be nice to lay in bed all day and do nothing, but a 6 year old can't cook or do laundry. He is pretty good at entertaining himself, but even that only lasts for so long.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that as odd as it may sound, even in sickness I am finding small victories. I am a stronger person now and I am finding new strengths each and everyday. It may not be easy but I still wouldn't change any of it. Each day is a new lesson, a new opportunity to learn how to live this life to the fullest and I am ready to take that course head on.